Hello dear friends. I hope that you all had a wonderful
Christmas and New Year’s full of many blessings. I wanted to write and provide
an update. I am really touched that
several people mentioned my update and that they checked here from time to
time. I appreciate the thoughts and
concerns and am sorry it has taken me so long to provide an update. I have
tried to sit and write this message for a couple of weeks, but found reasons
not to at every turn. In fact, I've had it written for a couple of days, and just didn't post it. Some reasons were
setbacks, such as some physical pain and emotional frustration, and others were
good things, like spending time with family.
Physically, I am doing much better. Close to Christmas, I had some real pain and
discomfort due to fluid build-up above my incision. I was convinced the pain was abnormal, but
the doctor knew better. With some
medicine, the fluid has been slowly reabsorbed into my body. However, for a
couple of weeks there, I was pretty uncomfortable. For now, the incision has healed and my
muscles are healing. I started back to
work part days last week and full time this week. Work has allowed me to ease back
in and get used to my schedule, which is great, because one day last week I
couldn’t make it in. Yesterday was the
first day I really feel pretty good. I
am still a bit sore, but it is manageable with Tylenol and a heating pad for
the most part.
At my last oncologist appointment, on December 26, the
doctor informed David and I that I will need to undergo radiation treatments.
We were both really surprised by this news and thought that I was in the clear
for treatments. However, the doctor said
that the cancer governing board reviewed my case and recommended that I have
radiation because of the size of the tumor, as well as the fact that there were
some residual cancer cells after removing the uterus. At the time, I was so miserable from the
physical discomfort (the fluid mentioned above), and shocked by the news, that
I didn’t ask any good questions of the oncologist and don’t know the answer to
anything anyone asks. I don’t yet know
how many rounds of radiation or how long it will take. I do know that they plan to use internal
radiation, which will allow doctors to implant the necessary radiation. It is
called brachytherapy. It is sometimes
called pellet radiation. It should allow
for easier treatment and definitely fewer trips to get the treatments.
Most days, I recognize that this radiation is just one more
necessary step to getting healthy. I
know that it is something that I have to do to get rid of the cancer and be
sure that it doesn’t come back. However,
for some reason, when the doctor told me, it was just an upsetting piece of
information, and it has taken some adjustment. The thought of more treatments is frustrating, when I was expecting to get the all clear from the doctor. The emotional toll this has
taken is hard to describe. There are
days when I really felt helpless, depressed and it was hard to reach out and
take help from people around me. In
fact, there was an entire week that I am not sure if I stopped crying for more
than a couple of hours at a time! I am
starting to feel a bit better, but I am sure there will be more of those days
in the future.
I think in some ways, waiting until I feel a bit better to
write the blog takes away from some of the process or intention of a blog. I
think that some of the experience gets lost by not updating it as
frequently. I will try to be better.
For now, my next oncologist appointment is next week,
January 23. At that time, I will learn more about the radiation process and
what to expect. Until then, I am just
getting back into the swing of things at work and am trying to appreciate
friends and family that are so wonderful.
